ok the only place where i can set my thoughts free, and the only place where it won't be spread around to people i don't want em to know.
i had a bad day at work today. i was working up front checking people out all day. all morning i was up there alone, and we were REALLY busy. i mean REALLY! i called and called for service 80s to get help, and in the mean time the costumers were getting mad cause they didn't come in a timely manner! so they took it out on me. they freaked out on me. and then i got mad, but didn't saying anything cause i didn't want to get in trouble. i had one that completely yelled at me. i was like whatever. and then apparently, saying, "Dwayne please stop arguing and please put the cart full of frozen food away before it un-thaws.", wasn't nice enough to some costumer, who remain nameless, complained about it. then i was like really. could this day get any worse! and apparently it could. HA as if i should know not to say or think that cause it always does. well i defiantly should stop being so expressive in my texting or writing! as you can see i use the caps a lot. well i gets me in trouble, but i cant help it cause im so expressive! but i thought my best friend knew that. after all thats why she was my best friend. i guess im better off with out a best friend. well ive had em and i always loose em too. minus-well just keep em away from me! but then again its all my fault anyway! i feel like im being used cause im older. but i thought i was there cause im wiser. well anyway. i was tell her that she needed to know some stuff, and she freaked out on me. and i said im in NO mood for some brattyness stuff. and she completely disrespected me and told me to shut the fuck up and called me a bitch! never in my life of knowing her have i EVER disrespected her like that! nor ever would it. even now i don't, and wont. and on top of that, you know that guy that i was talking about in 07? well im pretty sure that i have 2 guys messing with my heart again! the one guy is like hey we should hang out, and then stopped texting me. and the other guy was like yeah ill date you. . .wait no i wont cause you talk to that bitch down the street. and now hes like hey come over and hang out! shit man what to do! ive tried asking for help with my other mother, then i was going to try with my best friend cause she always tries to help me with that kind of stuff and most of the time it works. i wish i knew what to do! or have some one to talk to. what happens to those best friends that you thought were best friends!
alright. i understand that you under alot of stress. and im sorry. it sucks. i have alot going on to. that night that we got in that fight i was tired as hell and my parents had just got done yelling at me, and i thought you were yelling at me to and bossing me around, and you and i both know how i hate both of that. and when you said you were not in the mood for bratiness i felt that was unfair becuz i didnt fell i was being a brat by just telling you to turn off your caps, [cuz i thought u were yelling] and by telling you that i didnt know. so thats were i started getting mad. and i didnt call you a bitch, that status on myyear book was about my mom! she was yelling at me! for not doing the dishish! not you! you just kinda asumed it was about you since we were fighting. and thing that really pissed me off though was that you going to bring my mom into. and thats just not cool. no matter what. i would never tell your mom on you. doesnt mater what you did. the only time i would ever go to your mom would be if you were going to hurt yourself or some thing. so ya, i thought that was a huge batryal. another thing that has really been bothering me is you constantly telling me that i have no commen sence. if you think that, alright, but please stop saying it to me, and then going on about how you are so much wiser and what ever. i get you are older, but we are equal. you are not my mom, or my older sister. you are my friend. i dont tell you what to do and you dont tell me ok? i really dont like fighting with you. another reason i started getting defensive is becuz i had just gotten into a HUGE fight with michael b4 and was really hurting. he said alot of hurtful things. way hurtful things. i dont like fighting with you jessica. after i logged off i sat on my bed and just sobbed and sobbed. with Cassey, Michael and then you all freaking out i just felt really hated and hurt so thats why i said most the things i said. but any way, im at school so peace.
ReplyDeleteoh, btw, another thing was about my job. i was super super excited that i got hired and you were one of the first people i told. and tell you had to say was "GAY!". i supported you and was happy for you when you told me that you get your job and jubillee and then mavrick. i wanted encouragment, not for you to bring me down. so i was kinda disapointed.
ReplyDeletei really debated on letting this as an ignored comments. you know i talk in caps all the time. as well as i using !!!! <....those so much! the thing is is you don't ever know when your being a brat! EVER your a brat to me all the time! im not only just your friend im a mentor as well! ive tried to tell you about it all the time. and you don't care! so whatever you know! im done fighting cause its not doing anyone any good. so whatever!
ReplyDeletethe thing is i dont want you as a damn mentor! thats not what i signed up for! i wanted you as a friend! and you think cuz your older you get to be one! but you dont.
ReplyDeleteand most of the time im not a "brat" for no reason. our fights are not one sided.
but what ever. screw it.
i agree screw it!
ReplyDelete