not sure yet either!

the clouds are like mud
the kind thats dried and cracked
blue skies with cracked white clouds
sun shinning in my face
looking around seeing only
barely whats in front of me
seeing nothing
in the middle of nothing
i see greens and hills
but still in no where
here lost again
wanting to sit and cry
with my head in my hands
wishing her to come to my rescue
that dark mistress
of the wood
i want to know if you would
still love me
even after the things ive said
none bad just sad
and in the back of my mind
for i know you'd laug with me
still i wonder if you would
say i love you back
would you come to my rescue
to the midle of no where
and keep me company
dance with me
and laugh with me
talk about the world
about the future
talk about how my heart
turns to burning fire when i
see you when i need you
how my heart turns to stone
when i hear something bad
said about you
would you still think me sain
or would you think im mad
for i love you
and i need you
to stay with me
even when ive gone mad
and all i need to hear is that you love me too

College

okay so im thinking about going! and i should! but i don't want to take english and math. ive been doing it all my life and im tired of it! but what im thinking about is wildlife rehabilitation. i love animals, and wild animals are just my faves! haha. but im going to go. we will see how it goes i guess!

not sure yet

i stated the facts
you been there before
the times that was shared
the things that was shared
are all gone now
the things that was said
was not enough to bring us
back to the times before
the things you said
the things i said
were to much
to hurtful

goes deeper then whats on my mind!

ok the only place where i can set my thoughts free, and the only place where it won't be spread around to people i don't want em to know.

i had a bad day at work today. i was working up front checking people out all day. all morning i was up there alone, and we were REALLY busy. i mean REALLY! i called and called for service 80s to get help, and in the mean time the costumers were getting mad cause they didn't come in a timely manner! so they took it out on me. they freaked out on me. and then i got mad, but didn't saying anything cause i didn't want to get in trouble. i had one that completely yelled at me. i was like whatever. and then apparently, saying, "Dwayne please stop arguing and please put the cart full of frozen food away before it un-thaws.", wasn't nice enough to some costumer, who remain nameless, complained about it. then i was like really. could this day get any worse! and apparently it could. HA as if i should know not to say or think that cause it always does. well i defiantly should stop being so expressive in my texting or writing! as you can see i use the caps a lot. well i gets me in trouble, but i cant help it cause im so expressive! but i thought my best friend knew that. after all thats why she was my best friend. i guess im better off with out a best friend. well ive had em and i always loose em too. minus-well just keep em away from me! but then again its all my fault anyway! i feel like im being used cause im older. but i thought i was there cause im wiser. well anyway. i was tell her that she needed to know some stuff, and she freaked out on me. and i said im in NO mood for some brattyness stuff. and she completely disrespected me and told me to shut the fuck up and called me a bitch! never in my life of knowing her have i EVER disrespected her like that! nor ever would it. even now i don't, and wont. and on top of that, you know that guy that i was talking about in 07? well im pretty sure that i have 2 guys messing with my heart again! the one guy is like hey we should hang out, and then stopped texting me. and the other guy was like yeah ill date you. . .wait no i wont cause you talk to that bitch down the street. and now hes like hey come over and hang out! shit man what to do! ive tried asking for help with my other mother, then i was going to try with my best friend cause she always tries to help me with that kind of stuff and most of the time it works. i wish i knew what to do! or have some one to talk to. what happens to those best friends that you thought were best friends!

stab me quick...make me bleed!

so im a total failure at life! i feel like im failing at every thing i do! im not having a great night year or really life! and on top of that my friend is in a horrid relationship! and im trying my damnedest just to get her un-lost! i told her all that i could! all i can think of! hes soooo fucking controlling! and i'm scared that she might end up in the hp before they get to far into their marriage! they're not married yet but they will be! and all i want to say well read the tile and you will see! they have been on the phone now going for mostly the whole night! and they've been off and on fighting not fighting. they finally got off! and he told her she HAD to call him at 4 am! she called him! so far not fighting! he is just trying to control her and its working! ive told her and told her and told her! and even her sister has told her! they should now get married! well its fucking 410 right now and im soooooooo tired! well im always tired but im not going to have a good day already so don't know one fuck with me ill....